Chillin...

Still chillin in the 2WW over here.  Really nothing to report.  Pretty sure this cycle will end in a BFN.  I did have some ovary pain and crampy type feelings the day of the IUI all the way to Wed of last week.  I am sure I can chalk that up to all the drugs forcing me to create 8 plus (8 that were mature but I had more that technically didn't count) follicles and then forcing the follicles to release the eggs with more drugs, followed by a catheter inserted through my cervix and then the BD we had to do later that night and the next!  Since then I really haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary except for possibly some enlarged/slightly sensitive nips which have now returned to normal.

I called my nurse today to get approval to do one more IUI with Clomid and FSH injection.  That would be our 7th.  I am not totally sure we will do it, I have to discuss it more with B and look into how much money we have left on our insurance credit card because no part of the IUI is covered by our insurance so it comes directly out of our pocket, ie off the insurance credit card. 

I want to give it one more shot since it is relatively easy and painless.  I would like to really rule out IUI working for us and get it over with right before the holidays.  Shit.  It actually just occurred to me that we are going to Minn. for Thanksgiving and I am pretty sure that would be our ovulation weekend.  Shit.  Well, even if we skip a cycle and then try one last time in Dec. we will still wrap it up before the new year.  That would be nice. 

That means that the only option we have left to get me pregnant is IVF.  Fuck, I really cant believe we have traveled down this road this fucking far.  I really never imagined this is what it would come to.  It is almost like an out of body experience.  Is this really happening to me? 

When/If we move on to IVF that means we need to get super stingy about saving our money.  Something neither of us is good at.  We have a good chunk of the money that my parents gave us this summer (which still just blows my mind!) but if we do the ATTAIN program, which I think is the smartest way to go, then we still need possibly another 10K.  Do we have that?  Fuck no!  Do we have close to it?  Ha!  Nope!  Maybe we can pull together 5K but that basically wipes out both of our savings.  One of our dogs got cancer a year and a half ago and we spent practically every last penny we had in savings on surgeries trying to save his life.  Sadly it didn't work and it cleaned out of savings.  B gets VERY stressed out about not having a little buffer in his savings account for emergencies.  So really we have to save enough money to cover IVF and still have a little bit of money in the bank. 

This means we don't do IVF right away in the new year...and I am okay with that.  As much as I would love to hurry up and be pregnant right this second I am also looking forward to a break from all the appointments, drugs, injections, poking and prodding.  I am looking forward to getting back into a good work out routine and feeling good about my body again (do I ever really feel good about my body?).  I also want to do a 3 or 4 month cleanse to clean my body out so I have the absolute healthiest eggs possible for retrieval.  I also would be happy to not have a winter baby!  So I am hoping that we can make IVF work for May or June.  It would be so great to be pregnant before my 33rd bday in June.  We will see what happens. 

Anyhoo that's enough rambling for one night. 

Remember when it was 2 buck chuck???