Thursday, November 7, 2013


Still chillin in the 2WW over here.  Really nothing to report.  Pretty sure this cycle will end in a BFN.  I did have some ovary pain and crampy type feelings the day of the IUI all the way to Wed of last week.  I am sure I can chalk that up to all the drugs forcing me to create 8 plus (8 that were mature but I had more that technically didn't count) follicles and then forcing the follicles to release the eggs with more drugs, followed by a catheter inserted through my cervix and then the BD we had to do later that night and the next!  Since then I really haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary except for possibly some enlarged/slightly sensitive nips which have now returned to normal.

I called my nurse today to get approval to do one more IUI with Clomid and FSH injection.  That would be our 7th.  I am not totally sure we will do it, I have to discuss it more with B and look into how much money we have left on our insurance credit card because no part of the IUI is covered by our insurance so it comes directly out of our pocket, ie off the insurance credit card. 

I want to give it one more shot since it is relatively easy and painless.  I would like to really rule out IUI working for us and get it over with right before the holidays.  Shit.  It actually just occurred to me that we are going to Minn. for Thanksgiving and I am pretty sure that would be our ovulation weekend.  Shit.  Well, even if we skip a cycle and then try one last time in Dec. we will still wrap it up before the new year.  That would be nice. 

That means that the only option we have left to get me pregnant is IVF.  Fuck, I really cant believe we have traveled down this road this fucking far.  I really never imagined this is what it would come to.  It is almost like an out of body experience.  Is this really happening to me? 

When/If we move on to IVF that means we need to get super stingy about saving our money.  Something neither of us is good at.  We have a good chunk of the money that my parents gave us this summer (which still just blows my mind!) but if we do the ATTAIN program, which I think is the smartest way to go, then we still need possibly another 10K.  Do we have that?  Fuck no!  Do we have close to it?  Ha!  Nope!  Maybe we can pull together 5K but that basically wipes out both of our savings.  One of our dogs got cancer a year and a half ago and we spent practically every last penny we had in savings on surgeries trying to save his life.  Sadly it didn't work and it cleaned out of savings.  B gets VERY stressed out about not having a little buffer in his savings account for emergencies.  So really we have to save enough money to cover IVF and still have a little bit of money in the bank. 

This means we don't do IVF right away in the new year...and I am okay with that.  As much as I would love to hurry up and be pregnant right this second I am also looking forward to a break from all the appointments, drugs, injections, poking and prodding.  I am looking forward to getting back into a good work out routine and feeling good about my body again (do I ever really feel good about my body?).  I also want to do a 3 or 4 month cleanse to clean my body out so I have the absolute healthiest eggs possible for retrieval.  I also would be happy to not have a winter baby!  So I am hoping that we can make IVF work for May or June.  It would be so great to be pregnant before my 33rd bday in June.  We will see what happens. 

Anyhoo that's enough rambling for one night. 

Remember when it was 2 buck chuck???


  1. I'm so sorry you don't have IVF coverage. I wish I could share some of my coverage. I almost feel spoiled with our insurance, which I think I am. I can completely comiserate on the out of body "IVF WHAT?!" exprience. I'm right there with you as we start traveling down that road. Hoping that the IUI works and you don't have to worry about the finances involved with IVF.

  2. I understand. This journey is so painful....and makes it even worse to know that it can last much longer than you ever imagined. Our journey is still in progress and I would NEVER have guessed. I laugh/cry to recall our RE's comments about how we'd be turned over to the OB "within 3 months". I just wish there was some sort of guarentee in the process....because even IVF does not always lead to a huggable baby. BUT....I hope we both win the baby lottery soon!

  3. I can totally understand where you are coming from! I never thought we would have to go as far down the road of infertility treatments as we had to go either. I just wish it didn't all cost so much!! (adoption too)

    I think you are on the right track though. After my second failed IVF I took a break for a few months and did a cleanse and got back into working out. Now that I am pregnant, I am so glad I did that! I'm so glad I got rid of those toxins built up in my system from all the drugs I've taken over the past couple years, and I am glad I was able to lose a few pounds before getting pregnant.

    I wish you all the best and I will be cheering you on :)

  4. FX this is THE cycle! It says a lot about you that you spent all that money to try to save your dog. <3

  5. You're going to be in my neck of the woods for Thanksgiving? Let me know if you want to meet up. Seriously. I will be looking for reasons not to hang out with my husband's family. Just found out this week that my husbands dipshit brother got his hillbilly girlfriend pregnant. She's 38, already has three kids, with major baby daddy problems. I won't be able to be in the same room with them without screaming obscenities at all of them. So yeah. Hit me up. I hate the holidays.

    I get you on wanting a break before diving into IVF. We started fertility treatments a year ago this month. We are no where close to having the money for one cycle of IVF, let alone enough for Attain. I hope the break helps you get into a good mindset for future treatments.

    I got my period this morning. I'm especially bitter today. Sorry for unleashing in your comment section.

  6. Ugh, I know it totally blows to think about all the planning, scheduling and financing of it. It would be super fucking cool if the universe got us both knocked up with IUI's this Fall, but if not we'll both be in the IVF boat next year. You are the only other person I know that would be happy to not have a winter baby. I fear the NW doom and gloom climate with postpartum blues.

  7. Our situations are a lot alike. We tried 9 IUIs, as they were the more affordable option, and are now likely facing IVF, which we can't really afford. It sucks that so many insurance companies view fertility treatments as elective and not medical conditions. It actually makes me very mad.

    Totally remember 2 Buck Chuck. I can't even fathom conceiving a child anymore over a bottle of wine and not with injections, ultrasounds, and clinic visits.

    I will be wishing you luck on your next IUI - if there's no reason it shouldn't work, there's all the hope that it will!

  8. Hi! We got matched up on the Sock Exchange on Who Shot Down My Stork. I wasn't sure where the best place to leave my info was, but I figured I'd comment on this post because we are in very similar situations. We're hoping to fit in our 4th IUI before the holidays, but I don't think it will work and I think we'll start IVF after the New Year. We don't have infertility insurance either, and we're looking at about $15K for a shared-risk program our RE offers. It's so stressful. I'm sorry you're going through similar circumstances. This is my first Sock Exchange, so I'm not sure if I'm supposed to send you certain kind of socks, so let me know if you have any color preferences! :) There's an email button in the upper right-hand corner of my blog!