Monday, November 11, 2013

AF is a stone cold beeotch.

So today is CD 29.  But because I had 8 juicy follicles ready to go and got a trigger shot on CD 12 that puts me at 16 DPO.  I am sure my period is right around the corner but so far she's a no show. 

This doesn't mean my hopes are up.  This doesn't mean I am thinking about getting a pregnancy test.  This means I am in "wear a panty liner every waking moment" mode.  This means every twinge I feel in the low abdomen area gets over analyzed.  This is probably the worst part of the roller coaster for me.  I know I'm going to get my period but then it stalls and I start to let in just a glimmer of hope and then I get my period and I hate myself for feeling disappointed when I knew it was going to turn out that way from the start.  Sorry for the run on sentence.

 I even finally had sex last night hoping it would kick start AF.  It had been a while.  A loooonnng while.  After our IUI and our two nights of BD after, I took my usual "do not touch me for 5 days (or more)" break.  Then B got sick with a gross cold which turned him into a flemmy, coughing, snoting, sneezing baby.  I wasn't going near that! 

Maybe I will try it again tonight to try to get the next cycle started.  I realized that if I get my period like right now then we can actually squeeze in our last IUI before we leave on our Thanksgiving vacation!  I am really hoping that the timing works out and then all our IUIs will be done before xmas and we can just start fresh in the new year with a new plan.  

Was just remembering how seeing that first smear of blood on my underpants or toilet paper used to make me feel so relieved.  How times have changed. 

13 comments:

  1. Ugh, that feeling of waiting is the worst, especially when you're trying not to let hope creep in. I feel ya on that, girl. I hope you get your answer soon.

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  2. I know how you feel. I know you want to be hopeful- but yet you don't want to get your hopes up- it's such a double edge sword! I hope that this is it! FX for you - and I hope that one way or another you get some answers very soon! Hugs!

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  3. It's so easy to be expecting the worst. I've been there. But I still totally have my fingers crossed for you. The fact sex didn't start it is a good sign, I know for me it always causes spotting at least.

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    1. Well its only CD30 today and I've been known to go to CD36....so I have a bit of a wait! :p

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  4. The last couple days of waiting for the beeotch are the absolute worst. The thing that sucks is that even when you think you have no hope, it's still possible to be disappointed. I'm hoping this could still be it for you.

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    1. Seriously! You are so right. I will have no hope and yet I am still disappointed... how does that work?

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  5. Ugh I have been there so many times. I feel your pain, sistah! I hope you have a BFP because I know that rainy misery is setting in in Seattle and I want you to have a distraction. :)

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    1. Ugh, its so gross here! Especially since the fall back time change. Its literally dark by 5pm. HATE IT!

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