Drum roll please......
There is only ONE baby in there! I can't believe it! It took 8 mutha fuckin follicles to get one egg to fertilize...WTH? I kind of was thinking there was only one based on how mellow my symptoms have been so far, although this morning I did have to force myself to eat 1/2 a whole wheat english muffin while trying not to vomit but I think most of that was just nerves. I alternated between feeling like I was going to dissolve into tears or start puking every 3 minutes this morning before our appointment.
B went into work early this morning and I picked him up at 8:30. He looked like he was sick too. He was as nervous as I was but his reaction was to be introverted almost like he was pissed at me for something. I had to ask him to hold my hand which kind of pissed me off.
We got to the clinic and of course waited a good 15 minutes past our appointment time. They finally led us back and I learned that I should have an EMPTY bladder for the ultrasound, wish I'd known that before I drank a giant cup of tea and then had 2 dixi cups of water while in the waiting room! I swear they always change it up on me.
Our Dr. came in a shook our hands while giving her congratulations. Have I mentioned that she has a killer handshake? It was the first thing I really noticed about her and that first handshake just sealed the deal for me. This is not something I usually hold a lot of stock in or something I admire about people. It's just this crazy strong grip that is bold, to the point and screams "I'm in charge and I get shit done!"
Ok so skip to actually seeing the baby (little smear of white inside black hole) on the screen. We could immediately see one. I kept looking for more but that's it, just one. That in and of it's self was shocking. The Dr. measured it and showed us the fetal pole. I measured at exactly 6 weeks, 3 days which were my calculations (pat myself on the back). The fetal pole she said was a tiny bit on the small side but she said (I am choosing to blindly believe her) at this early stage in pregnancy that it was normal. We then tried to find the heartbeat. She zoomed in on it but then it would get blurry. She had me hold my breath so that my breathing didn't get in the way of catching the baby's heartbeat. She said she definitely saw a flicker but just couldn't get a clear enough picture to measure it. B and I definitely saw it too when it was more zoomed out and focused. She said that was also normal since our ultrasound is early and they usually measure the heartbeat at 7 weeks or after. So we have an appointment for next Wed. and that will be the big one...hopefully we see a super strong heartbeat and a bigger fetal pole!
The Dr. printed out 3 pictures for us and she handed them to me. I looked at them and the tears just started flowing out. I never thought that I would actually get to hold my ultrasound pictures and see my baby. I just can't believe this is real. I know we are not out of the woods and in the clear but It's been such a long, long 3 years. So many ups and downs and stagnant moments. I am so different than I was 3 years ago. B is different. We are different. I feel so much older. I feel battle weary. I feel so very grateful and relieved. I feel hungry. I feel like I need to pee again, damn it!
(Maybe once I can figure out how to scan the US pic I will post it...not tech savvy enough to do it without help from B.)