Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Obsessive panty checker

That's what I've become.  Every time I go to the bathroom I close my eyes and hold my breath before I meticulously inspect the contents of my panties and then I do it again when I wipe.  I haven't seen anything even remotely close to brown CM or spotting but I am so scared.  Scared shitless.

I just dont feel pregnant.  I barely have sore breasts,  I haven't had one hint of nausea, I dont feel tired, I have no food aversions or notice more intense smells.  Even the bloating and very mild crampy twinge feeling have subsided.  And last night I didn't even have to get up in the middle of the night to pee.  I do still notice the errect nips and very occasionally a twinge in the ovary area.  I do kinda feel like there's a small water balloon in my uterus...I'm not able to engage my abs like usual and arching my back just a little feels like a big stretch for my abs.

Tomorrow is our first US.  I will be 6 weeks and 3 days.  We should be able to see a heart beat.  I am so worried we won't find one.  How awful that would be...on so many levels, the least of which would be having to get on an airplane and spend thanksgiving in someone else's house for 4 days waiting to have a miscarriage.  I know, not a very positive attitude.  Have you read my blog before?  I'm not a very positive person, at least not when it comes to my IF.

So I am a ball of stress and angst and 9 am tomorrow can not come fast enough.

18 comments:

  1. Fingers crossed and prayers are being said! Thinking of you!!

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  2. I had no symptoms either, it was quite worrisome!! good luck with your appointment, I will be sending you lots of good vibes!!

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    1. Thanks, maybe I'll just be awesome like you! ;)

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  3. I had a lot of nausea/"morning" sickness over the weekend, but it's gotten so much better the past couple of days... and I know EXACTLY how you feel as far as the going to the bathroom stuff- I do the same exact thing. I was really nervous about it today, because I tripped over my puppy last night and fell :(

    You luckily get an US earlier than I'm going to... I have to wait until the week before Christmas!! I'm thinking of you though and hoping that yours goes well! I have my FX!!

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    1. God, why do you have to wait sooooo long?? I can't believe you already feel nauseous and I feel nothing! I'm at least a week ahead of you right?

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  4. So many prayers being said!! Hoping that there is nothing but good news and a beautiful ultra sound to share tomorrow!!

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  5. I'm 20 weeks and still an obsessive panty checker. It's our cross to bear. Best wishes for you tomorrow morning!

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  6. Ohhh good luck tomorrow! I still do the panty check, btw. I'm not sure that ever goes away.

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  7. I'm going to be thinking about you all day tomorrow.......ok, that sounds creepy but you know what I mean. I hope that everything goes well for you tomorrow!

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  8. I'll be thinking of you. Good luck tomorrow.

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  9. Thinking of you today (it's Wednesday here)!!!

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  10. I totally relate to the obsessive panty checking. Good luck for tomorrow.

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  11. I know exactly how you are feeling. I am sending you like a million tons of positive vibes. I know the TP checking anxiety, you cringe, look in the loo, wipe, then wipe again just in case. It's horrible!

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  12. I just saw this. I hope your ultrasound went well! The panty checking will go on for a while, I'm sure. It definitely did for me! Thinking of you!

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  13. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I also belong to the obsessive panty checker club. Ever since my first positive pregnancy test. Even though my bleeding didn't start until several weeks later. Still checking. Probably always will...

    FX you will have a hb and an awesome Thanksgiving, symptom-free (enjoy it while it lasts!)!! : )

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