Thursday, November 14, 2013

Something? Or nothing?

Alright, here it is.  I am so scared to even whisper a word of this post because as soon as I do I just know my bubble will be burst and by that I mean blood will come trickling out of my va jay jay.  Too graphic?  Sorry, I had VERY little sleep last night.  I was awake from 3:30am until my alarm went off at 5:55.  My mind was racing! 

Today is CD32.  No sign of AF.  I wouldn't put much thought into it normally (I have been known to go to CD36 in the past) but I had those 8 juicy (I don't know why I keep referring to them as juicy.  That's annoying, sorry.)  follicles that were ready to go so I had a trigger shot on CD13 and then the IUI on CD14.  So does that mean that I technically ovulated on CD15?  Doesn't the trigger shot force the follies to release the eggs 36 hrs later?  Help!  Assuming my calculations are correct, that puts me at about 18 DPO!  A normal luteal phase is 12-16 days. 

Here's what else has been going on.  The few days after the IUI I felt cramping but it was too early to be implantation.  I chalked it up to the 8 follicles and all the poking around in there.  I mean, there's a lot of shit going on up in there!  But then last weekend I was really bloated and my abs (maybe uterus?) felt really...tight, for lack of a better description.  When I reached my arms over my head my abs felt sore and like it was a stretch, strange because believe me I didn't do any ab workout.  I also have had a few episodes of standing up from sitting (yes, usually hunched over) and getting a sharp ovary pain. 

Then on Tues and Weds my breasts were sore.  Let me let you in on a little secret.  I have like zero sensation in my nipples and breasts.  B can tweak and suck to his hearts desire and I feel nothing.  TMI?  Sorry, no sleep = no filter.  My breasts are never sore when AF comes to town.  So noticing that my nips have been more...er, erect and generally sensitive makes me think that maybe, just maybe something is actually happening.  God, I fucking said it.  Now it really wont come true. 

I refuse to test until Sunday and I am sticking to it.  I cant bare to see another negative test.  I cant cope with the disappointment if it's negative.  This could all be nothing.  I have had phantom nipple pain before.  My period has been late before (but I probably ovulated late that cycle).  This could be a chemical pregnancy.  This could be me being an overreacting lunatic and just. be. nothing. 

But please, please, please be something...

14 comments:

  1. Ooohhh girl, I hope this is it for you! My fingers are crossed, that's for sure. I don't know how you can wait until Sunday. You're a stronger woman than I.

    I really, really, really hope this is it for you. And if it's not, I will personally help you hunt down AF and punch her in the face for messing with your hopes (and nipples) like that.

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  2. Good luck! I'll be crossing my fingers until Sunday...

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  3. Lady- I want this to be IT so bad for you! I am hoping that AF is not just fucking with you and your nipples.
    And I love you filter-less.

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  4. Ahh I hope this is it but I completely understand not wanting to see that negative test! Wishing you the best!

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  5. Are using any progesterone suppositories? I did after my IUIs and they totally fucked with me one cycle. If not, then this could be something. Keeping my fingers crossed!

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  6. Ohhh this is such a tough stage to be in! I say enjoy the hopeful feelings while you can and I will be sending you TONS of good vibes for a BFP on Sunday. I was like you, I couldn't bare the sight of another BFN, so I skipped the HPT all together!

    I am so excited for you and I can't wait to read the next update!!

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  7. Oh my goodness I hope this is it! I hope that your TMI sharing, non-filtered self is knocked up and will be sharing all the "joys" of pregnancy in your non-filtered way for the next nine months.

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  8. I really hope that your nipples aren't full of shit and this is the cycle for your BFP. Hope you get some sleep!

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  9. Thanks everyone....I am feeling less hopeful and more nervous because I've been reading clomid can lengthen your luteal phase and give you pregnancy like symptoms. :( Still no AF though. And the last cycle I took clomid (in sept) I got AF 15DPO and today is 20DPO.... God I hate this!

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  10. FX for you!!! You have such control not testing yet...

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  11. Sisterfriend, I would be excited for Sunday of I were you. I'monna go ahead and bet money on it. Yes, clomid can lengthen your luteal phase, but I've never heard of it lengthening it for THAT long.6 For me it was from 12 to 14 days. Not 20!

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  12. Everything crossed for you!!!

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