Hello ICLW! (did I do it right? I hope so!)

Assuming I followed the directions correctly you probably found me through the ICLW.  I'm not very good with the tech computer stuff so I hope I didn't screw it up!

I hope you poke around my blog and read every last juicy detail about me and my battle for a baby but here is a quick overview:

Met my husband when I was 17.  We didn't date until my 21st birthday.  We were a hot item for 7 long years before we got married in Aug. 2009.

By then we had 2 dogs who we treated like children.

He is a visual artist and I am a dancer/pilates instructor/nanny.

We started TTC in Aug. 2010 and thought we would be pregnant shortly after.  We were so excited!

Nothing happened.  After a year I started to get concerned.

Since then I have done:

Weekly acupuncture appts.  for 10 months.  Loved it but had to stop because it was too expensive and not working.

Started seeing a specialist at a fertility clinic

Learned I have a slightly low thyroid and was put on meds.  Been on that for almost a year and a half.

Learned I probably have endometriosis and that is probably the cause of our infertility.  Husband checks out fine.

One of our dogs get cancer and on top of all my fertility appts. I add visits to the vet, doggie oncologist and surgeon to my hectic schedule.  I am absolutely broken hearted and terrified!  Life so beyond stressful.   Dog has multiple surgeries including an amputation of right front leg and scapula.  We hope for the best. 

Endometriosis cause polyps in my uterus so I had surgery in July 2012 to remove over 20!   Dr. now thinks there is a good shot we can get pregnant on our own so off we go to get busy.

Nothing happens.

Dog heals from amputation but cancer spreads and he declines rapidly.  We have to put him to sleep on Aug. 18th 2012.  The life gets sucked out of me and I am so sad, angry and having such a hard time trying to cope.  Pretty much my darkest moment.

Still TTC with no results.

I break my foot in Nov. 2012 while teaching a dance class.  Now I have to add orthopedic Dr. visits, physical therapy and therapeutic massage to my list of appts.  I was in a boot for 2 months which was challenging for all my jobs teaching dance and pilates.  I was also rehearsing for a big dance project and didn't want to quit so again life was stressful and emotional.

I convince my husband that the only way for me to be happy again is to either get pregnant or get another dog.  We obviously are incapable of the first one so we adopt a puppy in Jan 2013.  

March 2013 we finally get back into the fertility clinic to figure out why the hell we haven't gotten pregnant yet.  Dr. wants me to take Letrozole/Femara and try IUIs.  We decide to do 2 months of just letrozole and then add IUIs for the 3-6 cycles.

Nothing happens.

This brings us to now.  Just had a consultation with my Dr. yesterday.  Before moving onto IVF she wants us to switch to Clomid and do 2 or 3 more IUIs.  She also wants to add FSH injections on day 9 of my cycle.  So that's the plan.  I started Clomid yesterday.

I am happy that there is something else to try before IVF is our only option.  I am a little sad that I am not getting to take a break from all this for a few months like I thought was going to happen.  I had big plans of getting back into my regular running routine and going to hot yoga.  That is just impossible when you are doing IUIs.  Every TWW I get too paranoid that exercise is stressing my body out just enough to deny an embryo to implant.  I know it's stupid but we are paying a lot of money to make this happen and I don't want to wonder if it's not working because I went for a run.

I am not the most positive person.  I always jump to the worst conclusion.  It's just how I cope.  My blog consists of a lot of complaining and whining.  I swear, I rant, I talk shit about people I love.  It's a place for me to be honest about my feelings and try to sort through the emotional baggage this TTC journey is causing me.  If this sounds remotely like something you would like to read then I hope you follow my blog!