Friday, June 14, 2013

11687.8 days old

So....It's my birthday.  I work all day so that is a bummer.  I bought myself two pairs of birthday sandals that came in the mail from zappos yesterday.  Wouldn't you know one pair is too small and the other too big?  Disappointing.  I told my husband that he needed to get me flowers (I definitely have to tell him these things sadly)  and avocado curry from my favorite vegan Thai restaurant.  We'll see if he follows through.  He did send me a text singing the lyrics of the birthday sex song...

My husband was out of town on Wed. night which doesn't usually happen very often.  I was home alone in my bedroom at 10 pm with the dogs.  The doors were locked (triple checked them!) and all the lights were on.  I was enjoying a glass of wine and watching an episode of Sister Wives (I am obsessed!  I totally think I want to be in a polygamist family minus sharing one man and all the weird religious crap) when I thought I heard something.  It went like this.


I instantly get sweaty and my heart leaps into my throat.  This is my worst nightmare!

Old dog is surprisingly still passed out, puppy pops her head up.

I turn off show and decide to wait them out until they go away.  This is my usual strategy when someone comes to my door.

They don't leave.  BANG, BANG BANG!  Louder and scarier this time.  Old dog hears it this time and immediately goes ballistic.  She is a really, really good watch dog.  Both dogs run out into the living room barking their asses off and head to the front door. 

My phone is next to me on the bed so I dial in 911 (I was just preparing in case it was a crazy rapist/murderer) while doing a mental calculation of where my butcher's knives are in the kitchen and how quickly I can grab one.

I tell myself to man the fuck up and creep out to the living room.  In my most aggressive, pissed off voice I loudly say "WHO IS IT?"  I hear a guy say "it's C!"  It's my sister's boyfriend which is odd because she is coming back from Spain on Sat. where she has been for the last 6 months.  She started a relationship with him about 6 weeks before she left and I had met him a few times and hung out with him but really haven't seen or talked to him the whole time she has been gone.  He does live really close to me though and I really like him/feel comfortable with him so I decide to open the door even though it's weird that he would show up unannounced at 10 pm.  

I double check, "who is it?"  and he says again, "it's C!"  So I open the door.

And there is my Sister!  The sneaky bitch tricked everybody and told us she was coming home on Sat. but really came back Tues night.  I was so relieved I wasn't going to get murdered I didn't really have the crazy reaction you would think a person would have.  She is lucky I didn't stab her with the butcher's knife! 

So yay, my sister is back and living with me (I am sure she will spend most of her time at her boyfriends place) for the summer!  And she brought me the best birthday present....Moroccan Pants!  She went to Morocco and everyone wears these pants so she bought 11 pairs to give out as gifts.  They are so dope and completely fulfill my hippie self with happiness!  I LOVE mine and am going to wear mine to my bday bbq I am throwing myself next weekend.

you can also wear them like this

On the fertility front I just tested with an OPK and it was negative which is perfect because I have a trigger shot scheduled for tomorrow morning and our 2nd IUI on Sunday.  I was super worried I would ovulate before all that and screw it up but it looks like it's going to work out.  Phew!

Okay, gotta walk the pup and go to fucking work.  Blah. 


  1. When I read the first set of "bangs!" I thought there was someone shooting a gun near your house and got really worried! I'm glad it was your sister and you didn't accidentally stab her with a butcher knife. Those pants are absolutely fabulous, my inner hippie is jealous.

    Have the happiest of birthdays and I hope your IUI on Sunday goes well!

  2. OMG I would have been so scared! And I totally would have punched my sister after I gave her a big hug, that is!

    I am happy that you haven't o'd yet.... I know you were worried.

    LOVE the pants! Super cool.
    P.S. Hippies rule.

  3. Happy birthday! Those pants are sweet!

    My blog:

  4. Happy Birthday! Oh, what a nice surprise that's scary at the same time. I would have freaked out and may have even stabbed my sister. At least she brought you some super fun pants.

    P.S. I get sung the birthday sex song everrrrrrry year. Glad to hear I'm not the only one.

  5. Good luck with your trigger! And happy birthday :)

  6. I have opened the door to enough freaks in Seattle that I am DONE. I do the SAME thing! I was laughing so hard at that! I Turn everything off and freeze until that person goes away. remember when people knocked on your door and it was exciting but now its, "DIAL 911, GET KNIVES. YOU ARE GETTING RAPED."

  7. Also, Happy belated Birthday! Another thing we have in common! June babies! I am 32 on the 29th! woot! (turned to cry)

    1. Well either you need to move back to Seattle asap or I need to move to Hawaii so we can be bffs! Do you go to the beach ALL the time? When I was in Hawaii I got THE BEST tan of my life! I was in heaven. Stupid fertility shit is making us so broke I will never get to Hawaii again for years and years! Sniff.

  8. 1. I used to love watching sister wives and joke that I wanted a sister wife.
    2. Super scary sister surprise. I probably would have peed myself.
    3. Those pants are so awesome.