Sunday, April 27, 2014

3rd Trimester

Hello again lovelies!  So do I have anything exciting to share with you?  Anything non-baby related?  Ummm, no I do not.  Well not really.  I am planning my sister's Bachelorette party which will take place at the end of June.  She has been planning my baby shower and I'm planning her Bachelorette party so we have been spending a lot of time texting each other on food and liquor preferences and what kind of games/activities we both want to happen at our events.

Our texts go something like this:
Her: Ok, we are going to have a mimosa bar and how do you feel about the game where you put different chocolate bars in diapers and melt them in the microwave so it looks like different poops?
Me: Eww, we are not doing that.  I am thinking we will drink Palomas at your party.  Do you want a caucasian penis and balls on your cake or black ones? 

I am having a fun time planning her party.  We are going to start at my house with food, cocktails and a few fun games.  I will have the house appropriately decked out in balls and penises.  We are going to have a penis sculpting contest out of pink playdough and pair off into teams to create toilet paper wedding dress masterpieces....or maybe we will all just collaborate on a toilet paper wedding dress on my sister.  Undecided.

I cant let everyone (my sisters specifically) get drunk because we are going to go take a two hour pole dance/strip tease class!!!  I can't tell you how excited I am for this.  I will be 37 weeks pregnant at that point so I wont really be able to do any cool tricks on the pole but I plan on doing my damnedest to be a sexy beast anyway.  The studio specifically states that if you appear intoxicated they will not let you participate in the class so I will have to keep the prefunking under control.  It will be a challenge.

After the class we will get glammed up and find a restaurant that serves liquor to get properly lubricated for what comes next....the male strip club!!!!  We have to find a restaurant because my youngest sister just turned 18 so bars are out for her.  They don't serve liquor in strip clubs in this state so she can come to the club with us....we just have to find alcohol somewhere beforehand!  As far as I can tell from my internet research there is only one male strip club in town and although it is located in a really boring part of the city as far as restaurants and bars go it just so happens to be only 10 blocks from the pole dance studio.  I am hoping I can find a decent enough restaurant in between the two places and we can just walk from one place to the next.  I'm bummed it's not in a more exciting spot in the city....if we were going to a girl strip club we could just go downtown and have lot's of options but my sis wants to see some shlongs and I fully support that! 

Alright, it's unavoidable.  I'm gonna talk about baby shit now.  I am 28 weeks today.  I still feel pretty good despite on and off insomnia and getting sick last week.  I was pissed because I hadn't been sick my entire pregnancy.  When I say sick I only mean I got a cold.  Still haven't thrown up once!  Thank god cause for some reason I made a bet with one of my sisters that I wouldn't throw up, she bet I would.  The winner gets to bitch slap the loser after the baby is born.  What's wrong with us?

Anyway the new pregnancy development is I am experiencing swollen ankles and feet.  And my feet hurt.  Especially the foot I broke 1 year ago.  It feels like I keep straining the arch of my foot every time I take a step.  This morning I got up and went to work.  I only taught one hr long class where I just walked around a room talking them through the exercises.  I met my friend to walk around the lake and when I went to put my sneakers on I noticed that my ankles and feet were really swollen!  I hadn't noticed at all when I was getting ready for work.  I don't know if I woke up like that or if just teaching for an hr made them swell.  Luckily I already had scheduled a prenatal massage for this afternoon and the masseuse worked a lot on my legs and got the swelling to go down dramatically!  That shit is expensive though!  I wish B was more generous with massaging me but he hates it and begging him for a 5 minute lackluster massage comes with a lot of complaining, whining and general grumpiness.  I told him he has to pay for the next massage I get.  I need to try to put my feet up more but that's hard with what I do for work.  I can't just sit on my ass all day when I'm with the kids and I certainly can't sit on my ass when I'm teaching dance or pilates.  Maybe I can in June when I'm a lot closer to my due date but I feel like it's too early to cop out now.

I am still getting baby stuff from people and going through it all.  70% I can immediately eliminate and take to good will.  The remainder I wash and organize into sizes.  Anything 6 months and under goes in Hazy's room and anything older than that goes in a giant tupperware bin in the basement.  Last week B's brother and dad drove from Minn. with a truck load of my nephews' baby stuff.  My friend who had a little girl in Jan. gave me another couple bags of baby clothes and maternity clothes.

I cleaned out Hazy's closet and put up curtain rods with drapery rings to hang up all her shoes and booties.  It looks so cute!  I bought a cheap mirror from target that I plan on hanging above her bookshelf.  I also found a cubbie shelf with hooks that is the same color we painted her accent wall that I want to hang right above her dresser/changing station to put diapers, wipes etc.  B is finally going to sand and paint her bookshelf tomorrow.  Once we get the cubbie shelf and hang it, hang the mirror and the bookshelf is done, the room will be pretty much finished!  Then I will post the before and after pictures that I know you are all holding your breath waiting to see!  My goal is to have it finished before my baby shower and I am confident we will make it happen!

I cannot believe today is the beginning of the 3rd trimester.  I am already starting to feel sad that in a short 10-14 weeks I wont be pregnant!!!  Obviously I cannot wait to see my sweet baby and hold her but I have truly enjoyed being pregnant and I will miss it.  I feel like from the moment I saw those two lines there has been an overwhelming sense of excitement and anticipation.  I love having a belly and feeling her move inside me is always amazing and surreal.

You know how the anticipation of Christmas or your wedding was in many ways more enjoyable and better than the actual event?  That's how I feel about being pregnant.  Imagining Hazy's arrival and what are lives together will be like is likely a much nicer fantasy than the reality...right now it's all sweet smelling babe sleeping peacefully strapped to my chest while B, the dogs and I take a summer evening walk through our neighborhood.  The harsh reality is a little bit more like fussy, gassy baby wont stop crying while B tries to catch up on all the shit and spit up upon laundry and I am sleep deprived and depressed about my saggy stomach and cellulite legs.

I have had a lot of experience with newborns and they are all different.  Some are great sleepers and hardly fuss at all.  Some are cranky all the time and refuse to let you put them down for two seconds.  Some have no problem breast feeding or taking a bottle and are great eaters.  Some can not figure out how to do it and are gassy and uncomfortable and spit up everywhere all the time.  It's a crap shoot.  Who knows what we are in for.  I hope the reality lives up to my imagination but I can't control that and for now I am trying to enjoy the fantasy of Hazy as much as I possibly can.

We get to see her again on May 9th.  We will have our 30 week anatomy scan, the follow up to our 22 week scan to make sure her growth has progressed appropriately.  I have been good at getting close to 100 grams of protein a day so she better have grown!  I am excited to see her little face again.  I hope she looks exactly how she did last time...only more cooked would be good!  She was just so cute the first time!  I hope she still has the same little pouty mouth she had in one of her pictures.  I can't wait to kiss those pouty lips!

I still don't have hemorrhoids or stretch marks, yay!  There's still plenty of time left for that though.  I haven't noticed any leaking nips...I'm waiting for something to happen in that area though.   I have been meaning to look into foods/herbs that help with milk production.  I have been so busy trying to get my protein and veggies I just haven't had time.  I started making some really delicious smoothies that I wish I had been making the whole pregnancy.  I have discovered a couple of combos that include non-fat Greek yoghurt and as much spinach as you would put in a good sized salad.  You blend it in a blender and the spinach just disappears and you cant taste it at all!  It's amazing.  I can get 23 grams of protein and at least two servings of dark leafy greens (with iron which I need) in one large smoothie.  And it tastes so fucking good!

Ok, I guess that's all I can think to write about for now.  I am going to update my belly pic page soon.  Sadly I totally never got around to doing a 26 week photo so I will post a 27 and 28 week one.  See ya!


  1. Ew, I think that dirty diaper game is hella tacky! So glad you are not doing it. Gross.

    I hear ya on the swollen ankles. This is the one instance where it is nice to have a desk job - I literally sit with my feet up 8 hours per day, and it makes such a difference. On the weekends when I'm standing and walking more they always get big. Is there any way you can carve out some time and elevate your feet each day, even just for an hour? I think that would really help.

    Cannot wait to see nursery pics. It sounds adorable!

    And I think having a baby is the only time when the anticipation is NOT as good as the actual event. I know what you mean though! But then again, maybe I'm just kinda sorta over being pregnant. I want to see her and hold her and kiss her and love her! Plus it would be nice if she stopped kicking my pelvis.

  2. I hear ya on that baby shower game, it is kinda tacky! But aren't all baby shower games? They definitely aren't as fun as bachelorette party activities - and it sounds like you have some great ones planned!

    It sounds like your nursery is really going to look great, I hope you post pics!

  3. I refuse to ever do any dumb baby shower games for anyone else, and think by now everyone close to me knows not to do it for me, ha. I so wish I could come join you gals for the Bachelorette party! You are an awesome party planner! Good luck dealing with a bunch of drunken girlies all night!

    I can't wait to see your baby room pictures! Also, you're gonna have to post the smoothie recipe!

  4. Congrats on the 3rd trimester! You and your sister sound like such fun. I have almost zero experience with newborns but have done tons of reading and completely agree with your thoughts on fantasy vs. reality. Really hope Hazy is one of the calm and smiley babies.

    Major stuff happening over at my blog if you haven't checked in for a few days...

    1. Marcy!!!! I need another invite to your blog! The one you sent expired before I figured out how to add it to my regular feed! I hope everything is going well for you!?