Thursday, May 2, 2013

Buying pregnancy tests....and tampons.

I actually haven't even bothered buying or using a pregnancy test in probably over a year.  I was so tired of the crushing disappointment every time I saw the negative symbol I just decided to wait until I got my period...which has always shown up.

Last Friday I was waiting for my period to arrive but I knew the weekend would involve friends and drinks.  So not wanting to miss out on blowing off some steam and enjoying myself (every one's favorite advise is to relax, right?) I decided the responsible thing to do would be to buy a pregnancy test and see if it would be ok for me to drink alcohol....or maybe it would be the best weekend ever because I would finally see the little allusive plus sign that has been haunting and teasing me for the past 3 years!

On the other hand,  if I got a negative I knew my period was about to show up any day and I was out of tampons.  This is how I ended up standing in line at the checkout with a box of pregnancy tests and a box of tampons.  FML.

I took the test on Friday and as I have come to expect, it was negative.  I made the best of the situation and drowned my all too familiar sorrows with a delicious handmade (by my multi-talented husband) fresh squeezed grapefruit margarita.  So good! 

The weekend came and went and no sign of my period.  By the way I should mention that lately my husband has been asking if my "red flower has bloomed" because we started watching Game of Thrones and that is a line the Queen asks Sansa when she gets her period, lol!  He makes me laugh.

By Monday I felt a little ovary pain.  My periods are so different since my surgery in July.  I used to have the worst cramps, I would be incapacitated and throw up they were so terrible.  As soon as the surgery was done I have barely felt any cramps at all!  It is amazing and makes the surgery totally worthwhile just for that relief alone.  So I felt a little something happening and was thinking "ok I'll get my period tonight or in the morning for sure".  Well I didn't.

My husband asked if we should take the other pregnancy test but I told him no.  I didn't see the point in wasting another test when we can just wait it out.  Especially since the test on Friday was clearly negative.  So I held off until tonight.  I came home from work tonight at 7:30 and decided to just pee on the stick again because where is my fucking period?!  Since Mon I have felt nothing in the way of cramps or anything else.  So weird.

I peed on the stick and again it is negative.  As usual I feel stupid for letting that little bit of hope creep in.  I mean I got a negative on Friday, what was I thinking had changed since then?  Maybe it's the Letrozole that I am taking?  It didn't delay my period the first month.  I will probably get my period in the morning.

At least I have the tampons. 


  1. I totally get this! I wont even look at HPT! Little effers always let me down! I am an OPK addict, not a HPT addict.

    I have done the same thing, so don't feel bad! LOL!!

    Grapefruit margarita? Yes. Please!
    Sounds yummy!!!

    I hope that your period comes soon. The wait is the most frustrating thing~

  2. Teresa mentioned your blog so I am dropping in to say HI! Believe I completely understand the whole waiting for the period part, seriously show your face already so we can move on kind of understanding.

    1. Hi! Thanks for reading and commenting, I'm still figuring out how this blog thing works! Yes, the waiting especially when you know for sure you are not preggo is so annoying. It would be so great if you could just fast forward to the next ovulation and try again!

  3. That wait is the worst! yeah, I don't take HPT's anymore either. Just not worth the heartbreak. BUT Hope is good to have. It's what keeps us going, isn't it? So don't lose that. Sounds like you and your hubbs still keep your sense of humor about everything and that is KEY.

  4. I waver between morbid humor and wallowing in self pity...I feel like I stayed super positive for a really long time when we first started TTC and now I am in more of a wallowing phase. I also would rather assume the worst and be pleasantly elated when I finally get the BFP! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  5. I totally understand. I was good to go for the first year or two. Year three hit and I was like "Kill me."