Buying pregnancy tests....and tampons.

I actually haven't even bothered buying or using a pregnancy test in probably over a year.  I was so tired of the crushing disappointment every time I saw the negative symbol I just decided to wait until I got my period...which has always shown up.

Last Friday I was waiting for my period to arrive but I knew the weekend would involve friends and drinks.  So not wanting to miss out on blowing off some steam and enjoying myself (every one's favorite advise is to relax, right?) I decided the responsible thing to do would be to buy a pregnancy test and see if it would be ok for me to drink alcohol....or maybe it would be the best weekend ever because I would finally see the little allusive plus sign that has been haunting and teasing me for the past 3 years!

On the other hand,  if I got a negative I knew my period was about to show up any day and I was out of tampons.  This is how I ended up standing in line at the checkout with a box of pregnancy tests and a box of tampons.  FML.

I took the test on Friday and as I have come to expect, it was negative.  I made the best of the situation and drowned my all too familiar sorrows with a delicious handmade (by my multi-talented husband) fresh squeezed grapefruit margarita.  So good! 

The weekend came and went and no sign of my period.  By the way I should mention that lately my husband has been asking if my "red flower has bloomed" because we started watching Game of Thrones and that is a line the Queen asks Sansa when she gets her period, lol!  He makes me laugh.

By Monday I felt a little ovary pain.  My periods are so different since my surgery in July.  I used to have the worst cramps, I would be incapacitated and throw up they were so terrible.  As soon as the surgery was done I have barely felt any cramps at all!  It is amazing and makes the surgery totally worthwhile just for that relief alone.  So I felt a little something happening and was thinking "ok I'll get my period tonight or in the morning for sure".  Well I didn't.

My husband asked if we should take the other pregnancy test but I told him no.  I didn't see the point in wasting another test when we can just wait it out.  Especially since the test on Friday was clearly negative.  So I held off until tonight.  I came home from work tonight at 7:30 and decided to just pee on the stick again because where is my fucking period?!  Since Mon I have felt nothing in the way of cramps or anything else.  So weird.

I peed on the stick and again it is negative.  As usual I feel stupid for letting that little bit of hope creep in.  I mean I got a negative on Friday, what was I thinking had changed since then?  Maybe it's the Letrozole that I am taking?  It didn't delay my period the first month.  I will probably get my period in the morning.

At least I have the tampons.