You all thought I hve been quiet because surely by now I had gone into labor and had a baby, right? Well don't you feel stupid!!! I'm STILL pregnant! I am now 6 days overdue and there are no signs that labor is even close to happening.
The weather has drastically cooled down which has made things so much easier for me. I feel about the same as I did two months ago...I'm not super uncomfortable and am able to just do my daily routine like normal. I have been feeling some braxton hicks off and on but it's still really subtle.
I had my last day of work last Friday (I managed to work all the way up to my due date!) and just hung out for my first week of maternity leave. I did keep busy with jury duty one morning and inspecting a house.
That's the most exciting news, we are buying a house! We found one, toured it, put a bid in the same night we toured it and spent the next day negotiating with the sellers until they agreed to our offer! We did an inspection a few days later and decided to go for it. It's so exciting but also very overwhelming to think of the responsibility and money. We are barely able to afford it. We are going to be living a much tighter life style and if anything happens to us or our jobs we are fucked. It's scary. But thinking about raising our daughter there and having peace of mind that it's ours and we can be there for as long as we choose is so worth it. I hope. We close on Aug. 8th so we are aiming to move as soon as we get the main spaces painted....probably by Aug 15? My sister's wedding is on Aug. 22 so I want to be moved and settled before then because we have family coming from out of town and I am excited to show off the new house. And the new baby!!!
We are just now starting to get really anxious to meet this little baby. I was pretty certain she would be late so I'm not surprised we are still waiting but now I'm getting anxious for her to come on her own because I don't want to get induced or go so late I have to birth in the hospital. We have time though. I am going to acupuncture today and on Monday to try to get things started. I have been drinking pineapple juice although it doesn't seem to be doing anything. I am going to eat the pineapple core after acupuncture today. I ate pineapple core the only time I ever got pregnant so maybe it will also help me go into labor. We plan on walking a lot this weekend and we had sex last night and intend to get busy a few more times this weekend (and throughout the week if need be). I have to say thought that sex is pretty boring because we are so limited in positions. We are down to about two. I am just too fat and uncomfortable for most of them to work. It's not even my belly that's the problem half the time but my fat thighs...so depressing.
It seems like every day I don't have this baby I get about 5 more stretch marks. I was doing so great until about 6 weeks ago and didn't have any stretch marks on my belly. Now is a different story. And those stretch marks itch! Everyone kept asking me if my belly itched and I was always able to say no it really doesn't but let me tell you, it's the stretch marks that make it itch!
I was cleaning up the lady bits the other day in prep for labor (I've had anxiety about what should be going on down there) and while using a mirror because that is the only way to see what is happening in that region I realized that I may have a small hemorrhoid. I'm not 100% sure but maybe. Luckily I don't have any discomfort or itchiness so I'm just going to ignore it.
Ok, I need to go to acupuncture so that's all for now. I will definitely post as soon as anything starts to happen, or in a few days when I am still waiting for Hazy....
After three years of coping with infertility this is my attempt to purge all my negative thoughts and disappointments as I navigate through my complicated road to motherhood.
Saturday, July 26, 2014
Thursday, July 10, 2014
10 days...
Since it's 10 pm already it's really like 9 days left but 10 days has a better ring to it, don't you think?
10 days until my due date...I'm definitely a lot more freaked out than last time I wrote. I feel like the SATs are looming and I haven't studied enough.
My body is starting to fall apart so I am actually starting to welcome the thought of not being pregnant anymore. I am still sad about not feeling Hazy move inside me anymore and I will miss my belly (my slightly less pregnant, more manageable belly I had 6 weeks ago) but my feet feel like I'm walking on two giant bruises. Apparently the ONLY place on my body that doesn't have fat on it are the balls of my feet. My knees feel like they are going to blow out every time I bend down due to all the added weight I've packed on. I am also noticing that my sacrum and pubic bone feel vulnerable, like they just might separate with any little misstep. My thighs have gotten so fat (and have multiple giant red tiger stripe stretch marks from crotch to knees) that they chaff together and get really sweaty. When I sit my belly rests on top of my thighs and that gets really sweaty too. My boobs have become giant sagging, uneven udders that rest heavily on my belly. They get sweaty and I have developed a lovely heat rash underneath them. I'm super sexy.
It's been really hot here which normally I love with a passion. I poo pooed everyone who commented that I would be miserable when summer came around. It's hard to admit it but they were totally right. The heat makes EVERYTHING so much harder. I went through my 20 plus pairs of maternity jeans (all given to me 2nd hand) trying to find a pair to turn into cut offs (long knee length cut offs) and I almost cried because about 90% of them don't even fit me anymore.
Okay enough complaining.
My sister's bachelorette party was a success. Thank goodness two of my other sisters helped me do some last minute planning and then helped me decorate and set up. The pole dancing class was pretty awesome. I really want to take another class after my abdominals have repaired themselves. The strip club was sad and pathetic. I can't believe that that is the best Seattle has to offer the ladies. It shameful. I still haven't gotten pictures from it but I will post some when I do. I am relieved that it is over and happy that my sister had a good time.
We have 2 more birth classes left. The last one will be a repeat breast feeding class that we took early in case I go into labor before then. There is only one couple due before us out of the whole class. I am so curious to see if they show up next week. A couple of weeks ago the instructor (The world famous Doula Penny Simkin) used a vagina puppet to demonstrate perineal massage...it was awesome!
The house hunt is still in full swing. We have seen at least 35 houses in the last month. It's amazing how many shitty houses are out there in the world. Who designs these monsters? We have had a couple of chances to bid on a house but have decided that for various reasons we wouldn't be happy long term with them so we have backed out before wasting our money on pre inspections. We are just waiting to pounce on that magical house that has all the right elements in the right location. So yeah, no house for us yet. At least the shock of our situation has worn off and we have gotten used to this new reality.
I have a doula appt tomorrow and will be forced to admit that we still haven't written our birth plan.
Good news is I got a negative for group strep B so I don't have to be hooked up to IV antibiotics the whole labor! Thank god. My iron levels have slightly increased too so that's also great news. I am still in the zone to proactively head off hemorrhaging with a pitocin shot in my thigh as soon as the baby comes out....I am thinking about it. Since my numbers are up a little I am leaning towards skipping it and only doing the pitocin shot if I actually truly am bleeding too much. I don't want to get a shot of pitocin unnecessarily if I'm not having any abnormal bleeding. There's always something to stress over. But my BP is really good still and I am measuring at 40 weeks already so my growth is perfect. My midwife estimated on Tues that Hazy is about 7 lbs! Remember all that bullshit about IUGR? If I go two weeks late then she might be 8.5 lbs!
I had my last night of teaching tonight. I wont go back to teaching until Oct. I am hoping to still nanny half days next week because I am soooooo broke. I only saved a fraction of the money I was hoping to save for my 12 plus weeks of unpaid maternity leave. I am super stressed out about it. Hopefully my body holds up just one more week and Hazy doesn't come early. Every hour I can squeeze in counts.
Alright, I guess that's all there is to catch you up on. Despite all the complaining and whining I really am excited to meet my baby girl. It is bizarre to me that at the very most in 3 short weeks I will have a baby. I will be a mom. It's still so abstract.
(ps. I posted a new belly pic on the belly pic page)
10 days until my due date...I'm definitely a lot more freaked out than last time I wrote. I feel like the SATs are looming and I haven't studied enough.
My body is starting to fall apart so I am actually starting to welcome the thought of not being pregnant anymore. I am still sad about not feeling Hazy move inside me anymore and I will miss my belly (my slightly less pregnant, more manageable belly I had 6 weeks ago) but my feet feel like I'm walking on two giant bruises. Apparently the ONLY place on my body that doesn't have fat on it are the balls of my feet. My knees feel like they are going to blow out every time I bend down due to all the added weight I've packed on. I am also noticing that my sacrum and pubic bone feel vulnerable, like they just might separate with any little misstep. My thighs have gotten so fat (and have multiple giant red tiger stripe stretch marks from crotch to knees) that they chaff together and get really sweaty. When I sit my belly rests on top of my thighs and that gets really sweaty too. My boobs have become giant sagging, uneven udders that rest heavily on my belly. They get sweaty and I have developed a lovely heat rash underneath them. I'm super sexy.
It's been really hot here which normally I love with a passion. I poo pooed everyone who commented that I would be miserable when summer came around. It's hard to admit it but they were totally right. The heat makes EVERYTHING so much harder. I went through my 20 plus pairs of maternity jeans (all given to me 2nd hand) trying to find a pair to turn into cut offs (long knee length cut offs) and I almost cried because about 90% of them don't even fit me anymore.
Okay enough complaining.
My sister's bachelorette party was a success. Thank goodness two of my other sisters helped me do some last minute planning and then helped me decorate and set up. The pole dancing class was pretty awesome. I really want to take another class after my abdominals have repaired themselves. The strip club was sad and pathetic. I can't believe that that is the best Seattle has to offer the ladies. It shameful. I still haven't gotten pictures from it but I will post some when I do. I am relieved that it is over and happy that my sister had a good time.
We have 2 more birth classes left. The last one will be a repeat breast feeding class that we took early in case I go into labor before then. There is only one couple due before us out of the whole class. I am so curious to see if they show up next week. A couple of weeks ago the instructor (The world famous Doula Penny Simkin) used a vagina puppet to demonstrate perineal massage...it was awesome!
The house hunt is still in full swing. We have seen at least 35 houses in the last month. It's amazing how many shitty houses are out there in the world. Who designs these monsters? We have had a couple of chances to bid on a house but have decided that for various reasons we wouldn't be happy long term with them so we have backed out before wasting our money on pre inspections. We are just waiting to pounce on that magical house that has all the right elements in the right location. So yeah, no house for us yet. At least the shock of our situation has worn off and we have gotten used to this new reality.
I have a doula appt tomorrow and will be forced to admit that we still haven't written our birth plan.
Good news is I got a negative for group strep B so I don't have to be hooked up to IV antibiotics the whole labor! Thank god. My iron levels have slightly increased too so that's also great news. I am still in the zone to proactively head off hemorrhaging with a pitocin shot in my thigh as soon as the baby comes out....I am thinking about it. Since my numbers are up a little I am leaning towards skipping it and only doing the pitocin shot if I actually truly am bleeding too much. I don't want to get a shot of pitocin unnecessarily if I'm not having any abnormal bleeding. There's always something to stress over. But my BP is really good still and I am measuring at 40 weeks already so my growth is perfect. My midwife estimated on Tues that Hazy is about 7 lbs! Remember all that bullshit about IUGR? If I go two weeks late then she might be 8.5 lbs!
I had my last night of teaching tonight. I wont go back to teaching until Oct. I am hoping to still nanny half days next week because I am soooooo broke. I only saved a fraction of the money I was hoping to save for my 12 plus weeks of unpaid maternity leave. I am super stressed out about it. Hopefully my body holds up just one more week and Hazy doesn't come early. Every hour I can squeeze in counts.
Alright, I guess that's all there is to catch you up on. Despite all the complaining and whining I really am excited to meet my baby girl. It is bizarre to me that at the very most in 3 short weeks I will have a baby. I will be a mom. It's still so abstract.
(ps. I posted a new belly pic on the belly pic page)
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