I kept my pants on!!!

It felt like today was never going to arrive.  It finally did.  I felt like I was waiting for Christmas.  I was so excited but so nervous and anxious.  Would we get good news?  Bad news?  Was she going to hide her face so we wouldn't get a good look at her?  Would I leave elated or devastated?  These were some of the thoughts that continuously cycled through my head for the last several days weeks. 

First let me start by saying that last weekend B was pretty sure he felt Hazy move when he had his hand on my belly!  I have been feeling little popping sensations more regularly although not quite as often as I would like.  It feels like a bubble popping.  Then just last night B felt a good strong pop, it was exciting.  I have also been feeling her rippling across my belly a little.  It has been reassuring to say the least. 

So today finally came and I picked up B at 2pm to head across the water (floating bridge) to go to some high tech maternal fetal medicine place.  I was nervous but I didn't feel sick to my stomach like I did getting my early USs.  While waiting in the waiting room we killed time by posting a funny pic on FB of B comically reading American Baby magazine in the waiting room.  We still hadn't made an announcement on FB at that point (more on this topic later) and I didn't caption it, I just posted the picture.  In the fever pitch moment of our nervous excitement we thought we were hilarious. 

I had to pee 2 times while we waited for our appointment and then we were finally called back to the US room.  At first I was turned off by our US/Dr. guy but thank god by the end I was kind of in love with him.  He started off by being too smooth and smarmy.  He asked us if we wanted to know the gender and when we said we already knew he wanted to know how.  We told him about the Panorama genetic test and he started questioning why we got it because I am considered young for it.  I explained that our fertility clinic had a deal with Panorama so it was affordable and offered the gender results which is what we wanted.  We finally got off that topic and he asked if we knew about when we conceived.  When I said we knew EXACTY when we conceived because we did an IUI he was very dismissive and asked if we were sexually active at that time as well.  When I said yes of course he said his opinion/preference was to assume that the IUI was coincidental and that we conceived naturally.  Obviously I wanted to punch him in the scrotum.  I quickly blurted out that I highly doubted that considering we TCC'd for 3 1/2 years and only after our 6th MEDICATED IUI did we finally get our one and only BFP.  And then we both dropped it and moved on.

At about this point we saw our baby on the screen.  Fuck you guys, she is so effing adorable!  I know I'm totally biased but seriously I don't think a baby could be any cuter at this only half baked stage.  You judge.  And then just lie to me and tell me she's the most beautiful little babe you have ever seen.  Here she is. 

She has her arm tucked up by her head.  We think that's hair all over her head!!  What do you think?  We forgot to ask but we both think she has hair.  The Dr. commented that she looks just like B.  It does look like she has his giant forehead.  I am in love with her little nose and her lips.  Her left eye looks like it's bulging out of the socket but that's just the weird 3D imaging.  I hope. 

I of course immediately started crying.  The appointment actually went a lot faster than people told me.  I think it lasted maybe a 1/2 an hour.  The Dr. quickly scanned all the important bits and basically in a nut shell she looks perfect.  The only thing to worry about (of course there has to be something, right?) is that she is on the small side.  Like in the 10th percentile.  But you know what?  I am only 5'2" and B is only 5'8".  We both weigh normal, appropriate weights.  We always joke that we are a hobbit family.  I was under 7 lbs when I was born and B was about 7.5 lbs.  B asked if she continues to grow at this same pace what are we looking at and the Dr. said she would be about 7 lbs.  To me that seems perfect but to the Dr. he obviously wants her to weigh more than that.  We discussed getting enough protein especially since I'm a vegetarian and when I told him I was aiming to get 60 grams a day he told me that I need to be getting 100 grams!  100 grams!!!!  Sheeeiiiit.  (anyone seen The Wire?  Anyone?)  So I am not going to worry about her being petite.  I will try to get 100 grams of protein so there will be a sea of protein shakes in my future but I WILL.NOT.WORRY.  

Reasons why I changed my mind about the Dr. as the appointment went on:

1) He kept giving us wonderful news about all Hazy's parts.

2) He kept telling us that we seemed like very kind people and that our baby was very lucky.

3) He acknowledged how hard we had worked for this baby and how happy he was to share the experience of seeing her with us.  (as soon as he said this I knew I loved him)

4) He did not try to push me into eating meat but instead said that he ate a mostly vegetarian diet and talked to me about other ways to get protein.

5) He was overwhelmingly positive and reassuring throughout the scan. 

Okay, dinner is done and B wants company.  We are celebrating by eating frozen pizza.  Don't judge, one slice has 17 grams of protein, Dr.'s orders!!!